His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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