Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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