girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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