i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
