We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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