So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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