His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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