yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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