I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
