There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
