1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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