Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
