I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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