Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
