Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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