Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
