i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
