is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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