no, he came in my armpit
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
