i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
