I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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