He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
