Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
