plz talk dirty to me
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
