When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
