Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
