and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
