Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
