how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
