the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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