There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i think i have two assholes
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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