glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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