drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
