i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
