he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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