Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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