I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize