i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
