After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
