The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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