I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
