Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
