Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
