Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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