You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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