Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
