Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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