I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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