i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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