You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
