is your mom at the bar?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
