You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
