Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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