Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
