trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Blood and glitter go together right?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's shark week go big or go home
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
