I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
