I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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