it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
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