Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
