just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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