wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize