You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
