and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
