But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize